To effectively learn how to listen to people you must first develop skills at actively listening. I came across a wonderful way to illustrate this message from the authors (Abacal, L. Brucato, D. Brucato, & Stephenson) in their book: Essential Elements for Effectiveness. Here is a exert from the book: In Messages: The Communication Skills Book the authors (Mckay, Davis & Fanning) point out that true listening requires that you have at least one of the four following intentions in mind.

1.      To understand someone.

2.      To enjoy someone.

3.      To learn something.

4.      To give help or solace.

Be very careful to pay close attention to what the person is telling you if you truly have even the slightest bit of interest in understanding the person. It is very detrimental that you understand what the other person is thinking or feeling, before you have your own question or situation that you need addressed.

Do you listen with what is termed Pseudo listening, or do you listen actively. Your very answer to the question will determine your listening ability. When you understand how you actually listen versus what you think is your level of skill in listening to people and being able to understand them you can begin to correct your listening weakness.

When you pretend to listen to someone you are doing them and yourself a great disservice. People and I included have adopted the act of appearing to be interested or actually listening so that we are being polite and so as to not hurt the persons feelings. Let me be the first to tell you that you don’t have to be what I like to call the listening slave.

You must learn to really listen and then determine how you can help the person who is so obviously asking for your help. You must learn that if you seek to be understood on whatever comment you are making or situation that you are facing, you must first seek to do that in which you would like done in the same respect.

Are you the chronic interrupter? Use this question as a gift and a blessing from me to you. The more you learn and seek to understand who you really are instead of just trying to conform to what people want you to be you develop a relationship with the popular quote (just me, myself, and I). It is of great love and understanding that you must understand or be willing to learn to understand yourself.

To learn more about yourself and Take control of your life join our live and interactive Advice or Bible study calls which will help you tremendously.

Join Here: http://www.cafemom.com/group/mentoring4advice

If you are trying to create additional income from home the download my FREE e-book which will change your life and give you the Power you need to Take control of your destiny.

Download Here: http://mayo08successin10steps.com

Wishing YOU All the Best

Sincerely,

Tabitha Variance
“Be A Mentor With A Servant’s Heart”

Hello All,

Next week I will be starting a live and interactive Advice and Bible Study call. There are thousands of people who need or seek advice and would love to talk to an actual person and not have to wait for an email. My soul purpose here is to help as many people as humanly possible.

Feel free to join in on the live calls and make a difference in the life of someone who needs help an is seeking answers. At one point in time that person was you or I. i want to make 2008 the year of Love and Prosperity.

We can all do this one person at a time. If you choose to help someone else make their life easier easier you will see a 360 degree turn aroung in your personal life and business success. Together we stand and divided we fall.

Take the time to join in on our discussion forum and the live calls. You will be amazed at how much you can learn or give by just listening to someone and helping them with a situation or problem that they may be facing.

Join Group Here:

http://www.cafemom.com/group/mentoring4advice

Wishing YOU All the Best!

Tabitha Variance
“Be A Mentor With A Servant’s Heart”

Sincerely,

Tabitha Variance

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